A Most Unlikely Ruler
by NeonZangetsu
Summary: What does it mean to Rule? There as many ways as there are stars in the sky. One can rule with kindness. One can rule with cruelty. Rulers make the hard choices. Rulers protect their people. Even if they are reviled, even if they're vilified as a villain. No matter the cost. No matter the pain. No matter what. That is what it means to be a Ruler. Narutoxharem. Vote via review !
1. A Most Unlikely Ruler

**A/N: WARNING!**

**This Naruto is from a different universe. One where things went terribly, horribly wrong. I worked long and hard on this...**

**...but still, I'm afraid this won't be as popular as the rest of the Unlikely Series T_T**

**THEY SAID I WOULDN'T DARE TO DO IT! ****THEY SAID IT COULDN'T BE DONE!**

**WHAT SAY YOU NOW?!**

**(EDIT) There's also a bunch of anonymous bastards flaming me for doing this, but here I stand!**

**So lets answer a quick question that some of you have been wondering about.**

**Tier wise the top three Naruto's at the moment are thus:**

**(1) We have Saber!Naruto.**

**(2) Followed by ****Ruler!Naruto.**

**(3) Finally, Berserker!Naruto (Shackled) brings up the rear.**

**Well...here goes nothing! Onwards and upwards! ****I feel I should clarify right off the bat that this is post-Kaguya Naruto, and ordinarly, a pretty chill guy. But that's where things spin wildly off course. For one, he never fell in love. Never got married. Our boy didn't age horribly as he did in Boruto, he. ****Like Berserker, he died of old age. UNLIKE Berserker, he decided to do what his class says on the tin.**

**RULE.**

**Not the world, because that would be folly, but the Elemental Nations themselves. To keep the peace. ****He has no desire for the Grail, no regrets and little to live for in a second life beyond the task he suddenly found himself saddled with. **_**He's also unapologetically lawful evil.**_

**So here we are.**

**A darker, bloodier take on Apocrypha...**

**...and a Ruler who won't tolerate Shirou's meddling.**

**No, here we have a Rule who would cut to the quick of that IMMEDIATELY.**

**Game of Thrones references are obvious and I own absolute nothing, nothing at all~!**

**Clearly, this Naruto is from another universe, one where things went terribly, horribly wrong...or did they?**

**As ever, this will be taken down in _two days_ if people don't like it. So by all means dear readers, do let me know what you think!**

_"There are many ways of ruling. One can rule with words. Or fire and blood._

_Be grateful I prefer the former. __Perhaps that makes me a hypocrite. _

_At least I'm an honest about myself."_

_~Ruler._

**A Most Unlikely Ruler**

_What does it mean to rule?_

_There as many ways of ruling as there are stars in the sky._

_One can rule with kindness. One can rule with cruelty. One can rule with gold. One can rule with military might. The list goes on and on and on through time immemorial. You can be a clever ruler or an inept one; it makes no difference in the end. Either you're worthy of praise and accolades eternal, or you're not. Its that simple. True rulers, I've found, put the needs of others above themselves. They sacrifice the needs of one for the many, no matter the cost. They strike the hard bargain, they taste the bitter steel, all for the sake of their people._

_Even if it makes them the villain._

_For Rulers are meant to serve their people-not the other way around-and t__o rule, one must possess wisdom, but also emotion. __Be a terror to your enemies, but a saint to your friends. Act fairly in all aspects of life. Do the right thing, even as others shout you down. Hold to your judgement no matter the cost. Do what must be done. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy. __You serve the people. The people put you in charge; thus, it falls to you to protect them. To ensure their livelihood. To make decisions that benefit them, if not immediately, then in the long term. __When chaos comes, when that great pit threatens to swallow the realm and all that you've built up in the span of your life..._

_...climb. No matter how long it takes._

_No matter how many times you fall. Climb._

_Some say chaos is a pit. Some are wrong. __Chaos is a ladder. _

_Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. Shatters them so utterly that they can never try again. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to their villages or their gods or their love. Bah! Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is. If you stop in an untenable position, others will eventually climb past you; tear you down, drag you off the ladder, and break you. You can only stop when you reach the top, when your position is secure._

_ I learned that lesson when I was but a boy; one could say I__ began climbing the day I stole a certain scroll; the day the truth was revealed to me. In a sense, I suppose I owe my path to Mizuki. Now isn't that ironic? At the end of the day, the fool was actually good for something after all._

_"Not human," he called me. "A demon fox," he jeered._

_A naive boy would've fallen, let those words break him. Not me. _

_I strangled him with a thousand hands and he never mocked me again._

_In that moment, my world changed forever. __Thus my climb began. __You see, I had always wanted to be Hokage since I was a boy, but it was then-at that moment-that I resolved to make it just to spite the world. They said I couldn't, thus, I wanted to prove them wrong. At first it was about attention, being acknowledged by those who'd held me down. That changed quickly._

_My climb continued._

_Through mist and trees and t__hrough death and deceit, through lies and treachery, through shadows old and new. I listened. I learned, and I realized the world didn't need an angry brat with a chip on his shoulder, but one -__someone!-who knew the truth of the world. A fragmented world divided by warring states. __I saw villages fighting villages while their people suffered, and for what? Scraps. Territory. Pride. Love. __Still, I climbed; not out of any selfish desire on my part, but because__ wanted to help people. I wanted peace. Not duty. Not love._

_They say love is the death of duty. And duty, the death of love. _

_I don't put much stock in love these days. __I don't reject it...I just don't see the point in it. Perhaps that's foolish._

_Perhaps I let a bad experience burn me. Who knows? __Would you, if you'd seen what I'd seen? I can't say. We've never met._

_Tell me, what good is love when that love does nothing but hurt you and those around you? Consider it, if you will. If that which you love, that one person or thing you treasure beyond everything else in this world, brings you nothing but pain, then can it truly be called love? No. If that love manipulates you, belittles and berates you at every turn, uses you for her own gain, is that true love? No. If that love chooses another-someone who wants to burn the world-for a misguided belief and LIES to you all the while, is THAT the love they tell stories about? NO! That love is a lie! AN ILLUSION! Nothing but ash in the wind! That is not love! __That love is a lie!_

_Tell me, if your precious "love" commanded you to silence your own troops and stand by while thousands of men women and children burned alive, would you have done it?_

_Would you have kept your oath then?_

_That's not an oath, little bird. That is idiocy. __And I wouldn't let the world burn for a boy's love._

_So I did what must be done. I did not hesitate. I showed no mercy. I put on a traitor's mask and smiled a traitor's smile for Sakura, promising her that I would do whatever she said. That I would stand aside. There would be no resistance from me, I told her. The village would burn, and she would have what she wanted. We would join Sasuke. The world would know "peace"._

_I kissed her. _

_I lied; I told her that I loved her._

_I promised her the three of us would rule. Together._

_Then I drove my knife into her heart. I still remember it, you know. That moment. That look. The feel of her body shuddering in my arms, convulsing. Her lips falling away from mine as the kunai slipped into her chest and ended her life. __The way she looked-looked!-at me, horror dawning in those lovely green eyes, a thin line of blood running down her lips as her mouth worked in mute horror for words that never came. __She must've realized what I intended for her then; because she punched me, tried to stagger away. __She was a skilled medical ninja; she would've survived if I gave her time, I think._

_I broke her neck to make sure that wouldn't happen._

_Perhaps that was cold. Perhaps that was cruel of me, to promise her on one hand stab her heart with the other. But I'm not a fool. He was. A naive boy with an idiotic crush, pining for someone who at best, would never return his affections, and at worst help a madman burn an entire village alive. Not in a million years. He never could have climbed. He never would've been able to fly, much less rule fairly. He would have been blinded by that idiotic affection, and it would've led us to our death. So I killed the boy. I strangled him, and a man was born from his ashes._

_Sakura was the first friend I killed; she would not be the last._

_Her body was still warm when I marched my men out of the gates and met Sasuke's so-called army in the field. __No speech. No offer of mercy. Only eradication. __Say what you will about White-Zetsu and their ilk, but they make effective shock troops and devastating spies. Give them a chance to disguise themselves and they'll wreak havoc on your forces. If I hadn't been there, if I hadn't been able to see through their deception, things might have gone badly for us. But they didn't and they died. And my "best friend" was overwhelmed by sheer bloody numbers. I wasn't even the one to kill him, though I tried; that honor went to Neji. When all was said and done, he beat him into a bloody pulp._

_Good man, Neji. He advised me for years after the war until old age finally took him. He died in his bed, surrounded by half a dozen grandchildren. __Ah, but I digress. Back to the climb._

_Through fire and blood, through invasion and war. Through the machinations of "Tobi" and his puppets. Through Madara. Through the Akatsuki themselves. I conquered. I fought. I united. I gathered all the survivors to me-under my banner-and saved whomever I could, whenever I could, but it wasn't enough. Too extreme, they said. Too brutal. Many judged me for my methods, for my actions, and my deeds lived on in infamy. As if they expected me to save everyone. As if I could. It was war. People DIE in war. There's no way around that._

_I did what no one else would!_

_I unlocked powers not seen in centuries!_

_I plucked the eyes from the skull of a man who called himself Pain!_

_I stared down an immortal army and beat them back with sheer willpower alone!_

_I faced a mad goddess in mortal combat and I swallowed her soul. Plucked it from her chest, and devoured her._

_I brought the world to heel, to order, and when they rose against me-as I knew they eventually would-I gave them a choice. Join me or leave. __Some did. __Others refused. One tried to stab me in the back.__ I did not kill him for his faults. No. That would've been the act of a wicked man. Only fools destroy what they cannot control, and I never wanted to control people. I only ever wanted us to be safe. To be ready. That blasted woman wasn't the end of it; she was merely the beginning of an invasion, the first wave of something far, far worse._

_I didn't begrudge them that choice, even when they vilified me as a villain. _

_When the rest of Kaguya's kin finally came calling years later, I was waiting for them. With a united nation behind my back. We crushed them, to a man. With no survivors. They didn't stand a chance.__ When the time came for the final blow, I did not falter. __I did what must be done. __I did not hesitate. __I showed no mercy. Only then, in my later years, did they understand. I was not a tyrant. I never tried to BE a tyrant. I was just a man. And what is a man but a miserable little pile of secrets?_

_I took no wives. I fathered no children, yet I made certain my legacy would continue._

_In the end I adopted an orphan from the war, raised her as my own, and eventually entrusted my legacy to her. I lived long enough to see her usher the shinobi world into a new golden age, then her son and his son's daughter. The world had no more need of an old warmonger like me by then, and I was content to let myself fade away. So I did. My legacy was secure. I stepped aside and passed quietly in my sleep. Oh, I could have lived on for centuries yet, but I chose to pass. For my family. For that little girl I plucked off the battlefield and all who came after her._

_I suppose that's what endures in the end. _

_Its the family name that lives on. Not honor, not strife, but family. Its almost funny, really. I didn't realize that until the very end. But still, I ruled. I have no regrets. __Some may ask why I did what I did. __I had a choice you see; betray myself or betray the world. Cling to my ideals or forsake them. Save myself or save those in front of me. __Sasuke brought an army, not only to our doorstep, but to everyone else. __An army of dead men and old monsters long since past, numbering in the millions. And what came after it was...worse. Much worse._

_So, yes. I broke my vow to save the world; though I suppose I'd already broken many more before it. _

_If I had to do it all over, knowing where I'd end up, I pray I'd make the right choice again._

_I picked up the broken pieces after the war and forged them into a dynasty._

_I fought. I won. Now I rest. Let history speak of my as they will. Perhaps there are better stories than mine, less violent paths out there. I tried to take them, when I could, where I could. I played my part and paved the way for those who would come after me. Let them rule my empire or divide it as they see fit. Those that I saved lived. Their children and their children's children lived. Because of me. Call me a monster if you must. The blame begins and ends with me. Denounce me, demean me, damn me to the darkest pit. You have that right. But know this. This "monster" saved the world. And I would do it again in a heartbeat._

_That is what it means to Rule! __Making the hard choices for your people!_

_No matter the cost, no matter the pain! No matter what!_

_That is the essence of a Ruler!_

* * *

**(...0o0o0...)**

* * *

_"This is not the way, my son."_

Shirou scarcely heard the voice before someone took his arm.

The assault was quick, ruthless, efficient. Just the sort he would use to surprise an enemy.

One moment he'd been striving to summon a Servant, right arm raised as he offered the catalyst to the circle; then his world spun and he found himself gaping at a severed stump just below the elbow. Not a heartbeat later, he went blind in his left eye as a someone raked a hooked staff across his face. As he stumbled and tried to draw his blade with his remaining hand, that same someone subsequently swept his legs, all but shattered his sword, and knocked him to the floor of the church. The sound echoed hollowly against empty pews, followed by a cry of pain when his back struck said floor.

"Pardon the interruption," a rich, rumbling voice resonated throughout the room. "Don't get up on my account. I won't be but a moment. Now listen, and listen good. This!"

_Whack._

"Simply isn't."

_Whack._

"How we do things!"

_Whack._

Each blow rained down on Shirou with ruthless, relentless intent. Three blows in three seconds, each barreling through his crippled defenses as a hurricane would a wooden shack. With a horrible crack, the deadly point of that staff slammed down into and _through_ Shirou's stomach. In that moment any further resistance became moot on his part. Even a reincarnated Servant such as himself was not invincible, and he wasn't a particularly strong Servant at that. His opponent had dealt him a grievous-if not mortal-wound and just disarmed him, figuratively, if not literally.

Even so, Ruler did not go quietly.

Blood bubbled up between faltering fingers as the white-haired man grit his teeth and grasped at the staff. he tried to rise; to no avail. His enemy's staff was well and truly wedged in his flesh, scraping his ribs, brushing his spine. He could no sooner tear it out than he could remove his remaining arm. Almost as if it had become part of the floor itself. Still he tugged at it, to no avail. That silent, stubborn part of himself that he couldn't quite cast aside, even after ridding himself of all his anger and hate, refused to lay down and die.

"Stubborn, aren't you?" the voice came on again, accompanied by the faint sound of footsteps. "Now you're just making me feel bad."

Someone clicked their tongue in mild admonishment and just like that the staff tore itself free. Through hazy eyes Shirou glimpsed the vague outline of his attacker as he lay sprawled out on the floor; rather he saw the outline of their _boot_ mere moments before it cannoned right into his face. His head jerked aside. Teeth shattered like glass.

Blood spattered like fine wine.

Tenaciously, Shirou still clung to consciousness, refusing to black out in the face of this assault. He was a credit to his given name, if nothing else. He rode the blow, curled up against the pain and willed himself to be calm when his body's first instinct was naught but panic. Though his body faltered and his lifeblood stained the stones, his mind remained silent and strong_. Stop. Think._ _I'm not dead. I can come back from this._ Yes. Wounded though he might be, he wasn't dead by any means or measure, not yet. He willed himself to look up, to squint against the full moonlight-though it hid his attacker's face-and look him in the eye.

"Who...are you?"

"Servant, Ruler." pearly white teeth flashed out at him in a grim caricature of a smile. "My true name is Uzumaki Naruto. I have _not_ responded to your summons. Consider this an intervention."

Those words stirred Shirou enough to draw a grimace.

Right.

The ritual.

He'd nearly forgotten.

He'd been about to summon a Servant, hadn't he? After the disaster with Semiramis's catalyst, he'd been forced to delay the summoning and seek another. And another. Another still. Someone with peerless strength, yet also easily directed. In the end he'd given up and chosen brawn over brains. Had he summoned this one by mistake?

No.

For all the shock and the blood loss, the former Ruler felt no connection between them and the Servant before him had openly admitted as much. Which meant the Grail was to blame. It had summoned this one as a Ruler deliberately. As a counter to him. Why? He'd sought to summon a Servant beyond compare. Instead, the Grail had denied him in the moon's glare.

Wait.

_The Grail!_ Shirou's gaze snapped southward.

If he could just reach the catalyst, then might yet get out-

"No, no, no." a booted foot nudged the item away from his grasping hand. "Can't have you summoning someone on death's door. I've dealt with that before. But just to be safe...

He took his remaining arm in the same breath, cleaving it away with all the ease of a master swordsman, heedless of the priest's strangled shout. The pain turned his vision red, threatening to drive him under.

But when he looked for the weapon that had maimed him-now unable to so much as grasp his wounds-he saw no sword in his hand. That made no sense. How could he cut him with that staff? Was it even a staff? Here in the light at last it didn't look like a staff at all, or a sword for that matter. A strange double-helix shaped weapon that seemed to swallow all light, one that threatened to turn him mad if he stared at it overlong.

"Sorry about that." the mysterious Servant hummed, tilting their head. "The sword of Nunoboko isn't something I use lightly, but I have to be sure you stay down."

Legs. He still had his legs. He needed to run...to escape...

That monstrous weapon swung out again, forcing him to tumble half a pace away.

"Damnit, missed." the Servant swore, tracking him as he stumbled toward the door only to hit the floor once more. "Well, that's to be expected I suppose. This body's a bit of a loaner, after all. Still getting used to it. I had to possess a nearby body and rush it here just to stop you, you know? Look. Its already burning out." he raised a crumbling hand, considering the inevitable state of decay as one might a passing cloud. "Its a disgrace. In my age, humans were built of tougher stuff than this. Ah." perhaps seeing the hope in his eyes, Ruler's smile deepened. "Don't worry your pretty little head. I'll have a proper spiritual core once you're dealt with."

So that was it, then. He meant to kill him. The Grail meant to kill him, to reject his vision.

It didn't make any sense. Where had he gone wrong? He only wanted to help.

"Why...?"

"Why?" his killer scoffed, stepping into the light. "You ask why, when you already know the answer? You see, the Holy Grail-such as she is-doesn't much like what you're trying to do. Think of me as the fail-safe. No, she isn't happy with you, Shirou Amakusa Tokisada or your meddling. So I offered her a deal. And here we are."

His attacker dropped down on his haunches, permitting the false priest a glimpse at his features. Sure enough, he found himself gazing up into a lean whiskered face rather unlike than his own, that tan visage framed by a shaggy mess of jagged blond hair spilling down his back. Pale violet eyes glared down at him, rimmed and rippling endlessly. What were they? It felt as if he were staring into the abyss; and something in the abyss stared back in cold disdain; mocking him, his ideals, his very existence.

A hand closed around his head, seizing a fistful of white hair, forcing him to look up.

"Aha. And there it is." whiskered cheeks dimpled in a small smile, and another hand took hold of Shirou's chin to give him a soft shake. "That's the look. I've seen it for years in face after face. You all hate me. You'll be no different, I suppose. You have a right to be angry, I suppose."

Those eerie eyes _pulsed _and an invisible hand swatted Shirou away like the hand of an angry god, sending his battered boy in a uncontrolled tumble across the floor. It was all he could do just to breathe. Cold. Why did he feel so cold? Was this death? Was he going to die here? No! He couldn't! He mustn't! He still had so much to do! Humanity was counting on him! Without him...without him...

"I will obtain all the good in the world." he recited the words like a chant, willing his broken body to move towards the church's exit, toward the door. He just had to make it to that door. "A world where everyone is happy, everyone is good, and everyone is perfect." Inch by inch he crawled forward, though to what lay beyond, he knew not. "I will exterminate all evil and create a new, pure world...

"That is not the duty of a Ruler."

The blade scythed past, wedging itself into the door to bar his path.

"And what did you ever rule?" the young man wheezed, struggling upright.

Those eerie eyes regarded him with...pity? It looked like pity but it felt like scorn.

"More than you'll ever know." the words were almost a whisper. "That's why I'm here."

To his dismay, the new Servant didn't refute him; he merely moved in to deal the killing blow. Slowly. Leisurely. He had all the time in the world. Without his arms and bleeding from a gut wound, Shirou knew he was easy pickings for even the weakest of Servants. He could still run of course, but his own injuries hampered him, dragging every step down. Why hadn't he finished him off yet? The tension was almost maddening. If he'd come here to kill him, why linger? What purpose did this stalling serve? None of it made any sense.

Perhaps, had he realized his fellow Servant was actually trying to _teach him something, _he might've been more astute.

"I understand what you were trying to accomplish and, for what its worth, I understand." that eerie visage regarded him with an almost fatherly smile as he approached. "You wanted peace. Order. Prosperity for humanity as a whole. You died for it once, and you're doubtless prepared to die again. But you gave up your emotions and lost your path. What you're trying to accomplish here...this is not salvation." he paused and spread both arms wide at his sides, as if he intended to embrace the moon itself looming above them. "Quite the opposite, actually. As a certain Berserker would say, this is oppression. And a selfish one at that."

The words struck Shirou like a slap in the the face.

"That's not true." anger tumbled out of him in a rush of denial. "You're lying."

"Am I?" Naruto didn't waver, didn't even blink again. "Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

Shirou grit his teeth. No. He refused to think of it. A seed of doubt had already been planted, allowing it to grow would ruin him.

And yet, when the faux-Servant looked within, the truth loomed before him, larger than life. "I only wanted to...I only wanted to save them...!"

Perhaps the newcomer empathized with him on some level. Perhaps the whiskered warrior saw the anguish in his eyes. Perhaps he recognized the pain as his ideals came crumbling down.

"I know." Regardless, that rough voice softened with a faint semblance of pity. "Believe me. I know what its like to lose. We all falter sometimes. We all fail. But you, you couldn't accept your defeat. Instead you tried to smash the board and start over. You tried to take their choice away." with that said, the true Ruler threw his head back to gaze at that heaven sphere, craning his neck up to peer deep into its unknowable depths, "A true Ruler _rules,_ flaws and all. That's the thing about man. They may be cruel at times, but they also have the potential for incredible acts of kindness."

Something ugly reared its head in Shirou's heart, the ghost of an emotion he'd thought long since buried.

"Kindness." he spat the word like a curse, turning and hawking a wad of blood onto the cobblestones. "You're wrong! Humanity isn't kind! They're cruel! Vicious! They kill without remorse! Life should be precious, yet they squander it! _They waste it!_ They allow themselves to be divided by the merest of means! They kill one another over pride, religion, dogma! Without someone to guide them, they can't _be_ saved!"

"They can. They will."

"Do you truly believe that?" Shirou scoffed.

"I do." That blond mane bobbed in regal agreement. "I've seen it firsthand. Its not for us to decide their fate. We're ghosts, you and I, and the living shouldn't be ruled by the dead." A faint glimmer of that lunar radiance danced in those wild eyes as he returned his attention to Shirou and the matter of hand. "Hold still. I'll try to make this painless. Go back to the Throne, if you can." That hideous sword-staff whipped up in a blur of black, hooking back for one last swing. "Watch this war, if you can. Try and learn from this,_ if you can._ Now...farewell."

His blade descended in the blink of an eye.

It was a swift end all things considered; for his last strike pierced Shirou's chest entirely and found his heart. By comparison to the beating he'd suffered thus far, this was quick and painless. He felt no pain, just a sudden stop before his world began to fade. A small, disbelieving laugh burst from him. He hadn't expected to die like this, his hopes dashed, a kernel of truth given to him in his final moments. His last sight was that of his fellow Ruler regarding him with that same pitiable expression as before. But he would not go quietly. He would have his final words, at least.

"Alright, then." Shirou croaked, gazing up at his killer. "I'll...be...watching...

Then he knew no more; life left him and his body slumped with a final, wistful sigh.

Naruto paused, considering him, considering the blood, considering the work he'd wrought.

"I'll try not to disappoint you, then." he murmured.

Naught but silence answered him.

After a moment's hesitation he knelt and placed a hand over the boy's face, easing his now-sightless eyes shut. His fellow-Ruler was no longer a Servant in the traditional/physical sense; he hadn't been for quite some time since coming into contact with the Grail and being granted flesh. As such, his body did not dissolve upon his death. Still, the lingering sight of his corpse offended his replacement. It didn't feel right, leaving him like this, even after killing him.

Thankfully, there were ways to remedy that.

A quick tap of his staff rendered the ground rubble underfoot. Another caused the soil to stir and swallow the dead Ruler's body, taking it down deep into the depths were it would never be found by man or beast. A third and final such strike loosed a fissure of flame into the earth after the remains, ensuring that no one could ever extricate the ashes. It was done, then. The False Ruler was dead.

And the Grail responded.

The change began slowly at first, his vision went white at the edges as he felt his fingers go numb, frayed flesh beginning shimmer and distort. Next came a fleeting rush of weightlessness accompanied by nausea as the Graild did its work. Ruler calmly closed his eyes against it, stoically riding out the rush of vertigo that followed. A calm surety of strength rushed in to fill the gap, and when next he opened them he found himself gazing down at the ruined remnants of what had once been his host. A faint twinge of guilt plucked at him, but nevertheless he repeated the procedure for the human he had forcibly possessed.

In his place he found he possessed a proper spiritual body, connected directly to the Grail.

All was as it should be. And yet...

"Sorry, pal." he apologized to the homeless man whose body as it sank beneath the stones. "You have my thanks, for whatever its worth."

It still didn't excuse what he'd done to this poor creature; this man had been on his last legs when he'd taken him, dying from a terminal illness; one not even a Servant of his caliber could hope to cure. His spirit had been surprisingly pliable when he'd made the offer. There had been no one left in his family, nor friends to mourn him. He had been alone in his final moments. Now he lay dead at his feet. Just another victim. Death seemed to follow him wherever he went, even as a Servant.

Still, Ruler was nothing if not dutiful.

Banishing his blade, he turned toward the lingering magic circle.

"Now, then." a small smile plucked at the corner of his mouth, "What are we going to do with you?"

All but ignored until this very moment, the summoning circle had lain dormant during their conflict. Still, the mana fed into the ritual by Shirou remained if only in part. Someone was waiting on the other side; roused by the bloodshed, eager and awake, ready to come crashing through the barrier between their their worlds. They needed only a Master to stabilize their body and a catalyst to stabilize their form. He could _feel _this strange stray through his bond to the Grail, just as he he could _feel _the catalysts discarded underfoot. All was in readiness. It just needed a little...push. Just a tiny nudge, and a Servant would be born into the world.

It seemed such a shame to deny a pure soul their rebirth.

Naruto considered the catalysts for a moment.

Yes, such a terrible shame indeed.

The first was a tiny little thing, barely a rust-worn scrap of what might have been a ball and chain in an age long forgotten. Hmm. Perhaps, in this timeline, the fool priest had simply failed to find the catalyst he originally sought for himself. Who knew? Likewise the second-a broken dagger-dagger initially baffled him, but with the knowledge given him by the Grail he had a strong inkling of whom the latter was meant to represent. A stray impulse plucked at his mind and he reached down, gripping each catalyst in hand. Hmm.

Why not?

He could do with an adjutant.

Someone to help him enforce order.

Perhaps it was spiteful of him to steal a Servant from the Red Faction, but something about his fellow Ruler had riled him. Stealing peoples emotions away? Manifesting their souls? It reminded him too much of Madara by half, and the boy who still formed the core of his being bridled at the insult. You couldn't force happiness upon someone. They had to choose. Taking that choice away was the same as tyranny itself. For all his flaws, he'd always given those he ruled a choice, and he'd been fair in his judgement. Yes, he decided. This would serve as a lesson.

"Let chance decide, then." he decreed, throwing the pieces onto the circle. "I've always been a bit of a gambler."

It ignited almost immediately and he grinned headlong into the light.

Remarkably the Grail didn't punish him for his impudence; perhaps it knew his mind, that he had no desire to usurp it. Perhaps it simply didn't care, now that the usurper had been silenced. No, on the contrary, it allowed the Command Spells to bloom on his the back of his hand in brilliant red relief. Naruto released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. His gamble-his whim!-had paid off, then. Three more added to the plethora he already commanded. That momentary flash of blazing blue brilliance abated quickly, roaring into existence only to shrink just as quickly, the smoke sucked away into the void.

"Servant, Berserker. Queen of the Amazons, Penthesilea." a young woman's regal voice swelled within the church like a siren's song. "I have complied with your summons."

Oh! So Shirou had been trying to summon someone from the Trojan War. That mad sense, Penthesilea was a powerful warrior in her own right.

Ruler found himself looking down.

Down, further still.

...eh?"

Golden eyes gazed up at him, framed by long, pale hair tied in loose blue blow. That fair face contorted in a scowl, her petite-yet-chiseled form shifting warily from heel to heel as she continued to state him down. And her clothes...gods above, _her clothes!_ Did she have to be so absurdly brazen in what she wore?! She looked five-to-ten years removed from the warrior queen he'd expected, yet only a simple band concealed her breasts, and only a half cloak and breached to mask her thighs. Gauntlets and greaves aside, she looked rather formidable. His human self would've squawked and squalled and screamed for this wee sprite of a girl to cover herself up immediately. Now? He merely arched an eyebrow at this strange creature and her scanty attire, this severe beauty-

No. Not a beauty.

Something told him something horrible would happen if he said that word. Even to him.

"A Servant summoning a Servant?" she blinked at him, momentarily taken aback. "How unusual."

"This is an unusual war." Ruler retorted. "The one who intended to summon you is unfortunately...indisposed."

Penthesilea seemed to consider that for a moment. Then those golden orbs narrowed upon him as if he'd wronged her somehow.

"Listen well, knave. I care little if you are my Master or not. _However!"_ she gazed up at him coldly, serenely, ready to strike at the slightest provocation. "If Achiles is here, you will bring him out. _**Now. Else there will be trouble."**_ An ugly spark of _something _flashed through her gilded gaze, a dark growl creeping into her voice._** "Keeping him a secret will get you killed."**_

_Achilles?_

...I know no such Servant."

A lie, of course. The Grail provided the information the moment he'd heard the name. But he had no need to tell her that, nor did he feel particularly inclined to. Her grudge against "that man" was fairly well known among Servants, even without the Grail guiding them. As such, he wisely refrained from mentioning his name lest her wrath turn on him instead. That might actually be dangerous given her absurd strength. Should she go mad with no other target in sight, she could inflict lasting damage...

"But he must be here!" the amazon stamped an outraged foot in sullen anger, pulling him back to himself. "How else would I be summoned?!"

"If you want him he's yours." Naruto caught himself shrugging. "But until then you will _behave."_

With that lone word he reached out and expended a single Command Spell, wrapping it around the length of her body like a fine wire. Penth's first instinct was to lash out, to strike down this fool who dared to command an oath from her. Her eyes darkened in instinctual madness, but the seals only wrapped around her all the more. She snapped at him, and the whiskered warrior only sighed.

"Jeez, now you're just being troublesome."

"How did you...?"

"I'm the Ruler of this war." he clicked his tongue at her in mild admonishment. "I thought that much would be obvious. Please don't try to attack me, it won't end well."

Berserker sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth, her slim shoulders tensing in a fit of near apocalyptic fury. "You presume to command me, boy?"

Ruler rolled his eyes and raised another hand. "Gee, let me think about_-YES."_

When he spoke again his voice rang like thunder, a whip against her will and the second such command spell brought the proud queen crashing to her knees. A third such order had her sprawled out against the ground in a right state, barely able to do more than glower at him. Even then she struggled against it, thrashing her back and arms like a wild tiger against the floor until the Command Spell restrained even those. Still she refused to bend, to break before him, resisting him with her gaze alone.

"Gah! Bastard!" she forced the words through a stiff jaw. "How dare you?!"

_"Bastard?_ I prefer the term lawful evil. I really don't like the idea of using these in the first place," Naruto sighed over her incredulous protests. "For whatever its worth, I'm sorry. But I can't have you berserking on me for no reason. So lets establish the terms of our contract from the get-go." Rinnegan eyes narrowed to vicious violet slits as he knelt before her. "We're both Servants, here. I will not hurt you."

Penthesilea looked up, but refrained from spitting.

"I will never forsake you." he continued, in spite of her disbelieving stare. "I will not force you to do anything untoward against your will. You don't have to respect me, you don't have to listen to me, hell, you don't even have to keep our contract if you find serving me that odious. Of course, _quid pro quo,_ if you _do_ stay, I'd ask the same of you."

She only blinked in disbelief. "That's it? You'd yield your power so easily?"

_"That's it." _his head bobbed. _"Although..._I'd also appreciate if you didn't murder me to death."

"I make no promises. Release me!"

The smallest of smiles quirked between them and with a snap of his fingers, the command binding her limbs went slack. She surged upright to her knees but found only an outstretched hand waiting for. Some might have taken it, accepted the olive branch without a second. Not her. Penthesilea was not so easily swayed. She batted his hand aside and rose with a huff, ignoring the bemused look it earned her.

Still, the seed had been planted.

He'd given her something to think on.

Gods above, she _hated_ it when enemies made her think.

A gauntlet-clad fist lashed out, demolishing the nearest wall she could find. It felt good to smash down the stone and mortar; to actually hit something that wasn't him. Fresh moonlight spilled through the opening, and she paused just long enough to glance at him in an attempt gauge his mood. For his part Naruto lazily pulled himself to his feet and scooted past her, as if he'd made the opening himself.

"Looking forward to working with you, Berserker." Her Master hummed, patting her head before stepping into the opening himself. "Now, then! There's work to be done!"

Wait, what?

Penthesilea frowned.

"I don't understand. What work? Hey!"

Humming softly, Ruler shambled off into the night.

After a long, ponderous moment, Penth followed after him.

As such, she missed the smile small alighting upon those whiskered cheeks.

_"And now," Naruto hummed to himself, "Let the games begin...its time for some sin..._

**A/N: Ruler!Naruto is not someone you want to mess with.**

**Saver!Naruto is a saint-and he'll get his own tale-but this one's an outright menace.**

**Be grateful he has some morals and no wish, or the world of Apocrypha would literally be on fire.**

**I feel I should also point out that Naruto may-or-may-not have just started his own faction by accident. He doesn't know this of course, but...**

**Before anyone asks, yes this will be an almost entirely different roster, in part because Ruler!Naruto was summoned, and promptly killed Shirou, a ripple that changed everything. The Master remain the same, the Servants...not so much. ****As far as appearances goes, our boy's basically the same. He aged better than his cannon counterpart, kept his hair, and his jawline is a bit harder. And he's powered by the grail directly in this iteration. ****Meaning he can give stubborn Servants a good thrashing if step get out of line. No. Mana. Restrictions.**

**Now lets get into the meat of the matter.**

**Achilles will be summoned as Rider of Red, naturally. ****For one, Penthesiila's getting her debut against him. I almost pity him this time around...almost.**

**EVERY. OTHER. SLOT. IS. OPEN.**

**So vote with your reviews, ya scallywags! Tell me who you want to see! Let the ideas flow forth like fine wine!**

**As ever, this will be taken down in _two days_ if people don't like it. So by all means dear readers, do let me know what you think! ****This story's been quite a long time in coming-on the backburner for a while indeed-and it'll have some fan favorites...**

**So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...review, would you kindly?**

**And enjoy the previews!**

**Potential ones!**

**VOTE ON EM!**

**References ahoy, because that's my shtick~!**

**(Previews)**

_"You hurt me, Naruto! You broke my heart and I'll never stop trying to hurt you back!"_

* * *

_Penthesilea gulped._

_"Ruler...why are you smiling?"_

_"No reason, I just found someone fun~!"_

* * *

_"Will you serve?"_

_Saber smiled serenely._

_In a single graceful movement, they knelt._

_"If you will have me, Master. My blade is yours."_

* * *

_...you're mocking me, aren't you?" Rider twitched._

_"Oh, no, no, no, no." Then he spun. "Achilles! Look! Its Penthesilea!"_

_"Where?!'_

_"Bahahahaha!"_

**_"ACHIIIIIIIILLEEEEEEES!"_**

_Oh. She's actually here. Well. That's unfor-_

* * *

_"Ara, ara! Its so very nice to meet you again, Naruto! Or should I call you Ruler this time?" _

_Naruto planted a hand against his forehead and tried not to groan. __"I take it you're familiar with me?"_

_Raikou beamed__. __"Quite well~! Do you not remember the time we spent together? I'd be more than happy to regale you~!"_

_...yeah, that does it. I'm just no good with people like her."_

* * *

_"You lot will conduct this war proper." Ruler admonished each of the Masters. "Properly."_

_"And if we refuse?"_

_Those strange, rippling eyes regarded them with quiet intent._

_...remember that I serve the Grail." his smile seemed sincere but Archer recognized the menace behind it all too well. "If you insist on dancing around the matter? I'll make a new faction and beat you into the ground. I'm quite certain you don't want that, and neither does the Grail. Really, I have no interest in fighting any of you. But if you force me, well! I'll just have to wipe you out."_

_His sword swung again, and the world reasserted itself._

**_"So. Play. Nice."_**

* * *

_"There you are."_

_At a glance, one could say Lancer was intimidating._

_A bountiful beauty bound behind vicious dark-indigo armor, she almost resembled a dragon. Were it not for the cold yellow eyes regarding him within that helm, he might well have dismissed her as a beast. But that ugly lance in her hand was anything but._

_Ruler sighed. "Don't do it, Storm King. You'll die."_

_...my apologies. But for the sake of the Black Faction, you must fall here today, Ruler."_

**R&R! =D**


	2. A Most Unlikely General

**A/N: HOWDY!**

**Wanted to let you know that I've changed the character selection; wanted to spice things up a bit and use Servants that I haven't yet. I apologize for any confusion. ****On another note...I'm not free to play in Fate Grand Order anymore. Yes, alas, desperation got to me and I finally used money. However! I set a hard limit on myself.**

**Didn't even spend a hundred bucks, at that.**

**However! In a single day! I somehow got Berserk!Lancelot, Caster!Gilgamesh, Saint Martha, and Nightingale. That's three Four-Stars and a Five. In one day. Not to mention a score of three stars that I didn't have. Euryale, Lancer!Cu, Romulus, Ushi, Geronimo, and a handful of others I didn't have for my third day.**

**WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?! HAVE I BEEN CURSED?! HAVE I BEEN BLESSED?!**

**I'm actually a little confused now, because most of those pulls came from the story banner. AND I'M STILL IN FRANCE! How the hell did I get Caster!Gilgamesh when I'm nowhere near Babylonia?! It shouldn't work like that, right?! Nevermind him! The odds that I'd get Nightingale-My First Five Star-DIRECTLY after updating a story with her in it...w****ell, that settles it. I'm doing all my pulls during my breaks now and only then after I update a story.**

**I'm not kidding, I've gotten the best luck following that pattern. Maybe its because the internet is insanely fast at my second job?**

**Well, enough about me, onto the story!**

***bows deeply***

**Quick clarification right here; Naruto didn't so much as STEAL a Servant from the Red Faction as unwittingly start his own. Now, mind you, he isn't going out of his way to assembled a roster of Servants under his banner. He neither wants, nor wishes to do so.**

**But should that event ever come to pass, I think I'll call it...the Gold Faction.**

***grins***

**WARNING!**

**Are you prepared shenanigans?**

**Are you prepared to suspend your disbelief?**

**Wait, what? You actually are? Well, alright then. Off we go!**

**Oh, one last thing. If you want to know what the other Red Faction Masters look like hope onto the fate wiki. Just type in Red Faction. Ought to be the first result. Thanks to Shirou's death, they're all out and about.**

**As ever, reviews feed my creative engine and keep me writing. Oh, and alive.**

**But I have a surprise for you in regards to one of the Masters.**

**I'm sure we'll all recognize them~!**

_"I am justice. I am order. If you oppose me...well. You don't want to do that."_

_~Ruler._

**A Most Unlikely General **

_"Food."_

Naruto's head bobbed.

"Indeed, food~! The sustenance of life!"

Penthesilea wasn't twitching. She definitely wasn't balling her fists at her sides. No. Not in the least. Her rising wrath had absolutely nothing to do with the getup she'd been forced to, nor the side stand Ruler had dragged her too. And she certainly wasn't thinking of upending that bowl of piping-hot ramen over his head. Alright. She was. But he deserved it! Ruler had lied to her! Tricked her! Deceived her! She'd expected head straight into battle, or meet one of the other faction representatives at least, not...whatever this was! Certainly not this farce! her, much less her Master!

"You dragged me into town, made me wear this ridiculous white sundress...JUST SO YOU COULD GET A BITE TO EAT!?"

Naruto knocked back another bowl of noodles as it were a bottle of beer. "Don't knock it till ya try it, sister!"

That tore it. "I am NO sister of yours!"

Though the livid Berserker tried to slap the bowl from his hands, Naruto simply dodged around her, seized the smaller warrior by the scruff of the neck with his free hand, and held her in the air like a naughty kitten. When it became horribly apparent that her flailing arms and legs could not reach him-and he certainly wasn't going to let her use her claws or flail-Penthesilea pouted. Ruler didn't even admonish her. He just arched an eyebrow, as one might expect of a bemused older brother rather than any true Master.

"Are you calm?" he asked stoically of her.

...yes." she lied through grit teeth.

"Your eyes are glowing."

_**"I WILL END YOU!"**_

Another fit of furious flailing followed, to no avail. When at last she settled enough for him to release her, the petite warrior huffed out a breath. For all his lazy slouching and relaxed posture, she knew he'd just dodge her if she tried to attack him again. He hadn't even bothered to reinforce that Command Spell he'd used last night. Which begged the question.

"So why are we here?" she ground out. "I know you're not an idiot, Ruler. What is our true purpose in this town?"

Naruto snatched up another full bowl the moment it was set down. "We're people-watching."

Shame and confusion warred inside of her. "What good can come from that?"

The whiskered warrior pointed with his chopsticks. "Take a look."

His grin reminded her of a starving shark.

Baffled, Penthesilea followed his gaze.

She saw only a handful of people.

"I don't understand."

"Look _closely."_

She did.

And then she felt it; these people weren't harmless civilians; they were mages. At such close proximity she could clearly sense them-and more than a few hidden Servants-lurking in the background. No doubt the reverse applied to them. Some were even bold enough to gaze at them outright. Had that been the end of it she might have been willing to ignore them, but her sixth sense-and connection to the Greater Grail through Naruto-told her otherwise. Like a soft, helpful voice whispering in the back of her head, telling her what she needed to know before she even _knew _that she needed to know it in the first place.

These were Masters.

"How...?"

"I killed the false Ruler before he could ensnare them of course." Naruto informed her primly, draining another bottle of sake. "Without him to interfere, its only natural that the Masters of Red would be wandering about, forming alliances and trying to get the measure of each other." he turned his gaze towards one in particular. "The one buying a crepe over there is none other than Feend vor Sembren, a gaunt looking man with grey hair, dark eyes and a fine suit. First-class instructor of the clock tower and soon-to-be master of Lancer."

In the same breath, he turned his gaze to an odd pair sitting at a table nearby.

"Those two are Deimlet and Cabik Pental, brothers, and the masters of Berserker and Rider respectively." his gaze flicked away from the two massive men in white suits even as Penthesilea committed their names to her mind's eye and memory. Naruto was already moving on.

"That's Jean Rum." his gaze flicked to the sole female in attendance, one perusing a book as she leaned against a wall. "She'll be summoning Caster tonight. Don't underestimate her."

She committed her name and face to memory, but Naruto was already moving on.

"And of course, it would be remiss of me to ignore. Lord El-Melloi II. Otherwise known as Waver Velvet." quick as a beat, his gaze switched a stern-looking man with a lean face and dark hair, his body sheathed in crimson clothes. "We've never met, but I kinda want to bully him."

"And there goes Kairi Sisigou." his gaze flicked to a scarred man clad in dark leather, wearing darker shades. "He's summoned Saber...I think.

"How do you know all this?" her hands twitched, itching for her flail. She felt vulnerable surrounded by this many Masters. Exposed.

"How?" Naruto threw the words back at her with a scoff before tapping a finger to his forehead. "Its all in here. The Grail provided me with detailed information the moment I was summoned; its talking to me even now. I could tell you their life stories, their darkest secrets, secrets they don't even know. The last three you see here?" he gestured grandly to Waver, Sisigou, and Rum. "In another life, these three were/are masters for other incarnations of myself in other timelines. Perhaps its a touch sentimental of me, but I'd like to avoid hurting them. Although I don't see Assassins' master anywhere...

"Then why haven't we done anything?!"

"Because some of them have summoned their Servants already, silly girl." Naruto put in with a jaw popping yawn. "At least three of them, and two of those three are watching the _two of us _like hawks. As entertaining as it would be to fight them, I just don't feel like it No, we'll start with the Black Faction." In a single fluid movement he drained the last of his bowl and stood, pausing just long enough to pay the tab. "They're more organized at any rate. And there's something I want to investigate."

When he turned to go, Berserker reluctantly followed.

"Isn't that a show of favoritism?" she asked.

Ruler grinned. "I don't see it that way. Besides, we won't be helping them. Think of it...as laying the groundwork."

Penth wrinkled her nose in mild disgust. "Groundwork for that?"

His smile was beatific. "Why, my revolution."

Revolution? Wasn't he supposed to be neutral? This had to be another trick of some sort. Like his stunt with the ramen; he did one thing and allowed her to draw her own conclusions, all the while leading her astray like a wayward pup. She was his ally, and even now he didn't trust her with his true intentions. It was galling...but brilliant, in an underhanded way. He allowed others to think him the fool, the ponce, the idiot, then he surprised them with overwhelming strength and tormenting tactics.

What a terrifying man.

They walked in silence moment more before she dared the true . "And if we find_...him?"_

"He's all yours." Naruto granted readily enough. "Though I don't think you can beat Achilles as you are now."

Rage choked her words. "You **DARE-**

"Oh, for the love of-!" In a single beat he swayed around her savage strike and levered her face-first into the ground when she tried to attack him again. "I dare! He's stronger than you. Much stronger." his hand tightened on her head, pressing her down into the dirt as she struggled futilely. "If ya fight him, you've gotta be smart!"

Penthesilea fell silent for a long moment.

When she finally raised her gaze some semblance of sanity had returned to those blazing eyes.

"Tell me more."

Releasing her, so he did.

She listened intently all the while aware of her teeming self-loathing. Not good enough? Not strong enough? For an amazon, the notion of being weak made her soul _burn. _But if someone like Ruler could bat her around as if she were no more than a mouse...and Achilles would likely run from her rather than fight. His speed was legendary. She couldn't simply brute force things here. So she listened to Ruler's "strategy" considered it even as he pride shrieked at her. And when he was done she fixed him with a gimlet eye.

"You DO realize that if you interfere in our duel, I will kill you."

A hand patted her ashen hair.

"Don't worry your pr-I mean, don't worry your little head." he amended as her eyes began to cloud over again. "I have no intention of mucking about in your affairs. But it doesn't change the fact that you need to fight smart, not blind, if you want to win."

Penth paused, considering him anew. "In another life you would've made a good general."

"Meh," Ruler shrugged, "I'm not the type interested in troop movements."

The flat line of her mouth curled in the barest beginnings of a smile.

"Liar."

"You wound me, m'lady!" The whiskered warrior cried out and staggered back, clutching at his heart as if she'd stabbed him. "Why, to even say such a thing! To suggest that I would dare besmirch the glorious honor that is single combat! I am hurt! Deeply, truly hurt! For shame!"

Despite her best efforts, the Amazon began to laugh.

Softly at first, little more than a rusty chuckle, but with ever-increasing volume; within moments she found herself giggling wholeheartedly in spite of her earlier outburst. Naruto thought she sounded almost...tired. As one who had been forced to bear with too much in too short a lifetime.

"I don't understand you." she gasped out, "Why are you like this?"

"Haven't you been listening?" Whiskered cheeks dimpled. "I already told you, I'm not a conventional ruler. Victory at any cost, that's my motto. When its beyond your grasp, do whatever you can to close that gap; to pull it closer. Then leap right over that gap and spit in it.

"But why goes this far to help someone you've never met?"

"Well, we're friends, aren't we? Allies at the very least."

Berserker missed a step.

A friend?

...Ridiculous.

When was the last time she'd had one of those?

She'd never had a shortage of subordinates or soldiers, but seldom friends. Sisters and siblings perhaps, but no, never friends. Not even a comrade to speak of, outside those of her fellow Amazons. The notion of what her general-and yes, she thought of him as such now-and what he was suggesting should have been absurd. She should've balked at it, dismissed him out of his hand.

And yet she smiled.

"Shall we continue then, general?"

* * *

_(...0o0o0...)_

* * *

Their journey to the Black Faction was a simple one.

The rest of their trip was made in the comfortable silence of astral form to prevent another such confrontation. Neither spoke. There was no need for words as they traveled. Though he couldn't see her, Naruto could feel Berserker all but vibrating with tension-anticipation-that she might find her hated foe waiting for her within the walls of the Yggdmillennia castle. If she saw him, nothing would stop her. He almost pitied any Servant fool enough to get in her way.

In the end, he was somewhat bemused to find they were expected; he'd sent a messenger clone ahead of time, but he hadn't anticipated this response.

Rather than be admitted into the castle proper, they were met at the gate by the Masters themselves. Naruto noted that. They were either supremely overconfident or terribly wary. He wasn't certain which. Just as well, he supposed. Whether they elected to resist or not, the outcome of their discussion would still be the same. He took in the small group before him and immediately deemed those worth his attention and those whom he would...ignore. Those who would cause trouble, and those who would cling to order.

Three of the might be...problematic.

Breaking from spiritual form, he alighted neatly before them. Penthesilea followed a heartbeat later.

And there was the clan head now, breaking ranks to approach them now. Naruto wondered if he should feel flattered.

"We bid you welcome, Ruler." Darnic sketched a shallow bow. "To what do we owe the honor of your presence so early in the war?"

"Just checking in, Darnic." he hummed, watching the faint light of surprise spring to the man's eye as he went terribly still. "I wanted to make sure you were following the rules."

The silver-tongued magus was good; very good indeed, for he barely let the words affect him at all. Even as he noticed Penthesilea in her thinly-clad armor, he didn't allow his surprise to show. Here presence here was as much to misdirect as much as enforce his will.

"I assure you, we haven't done anything untoward...

Even in life, Ruler read people like a book; he knew this man wasn't lying; that faint glimmer of surprise in his eyes spoke volumes. That was his purpose here; to catch them off guard, to remind them that the Holy Grail had a will of its own, that they simply couldn't do as they pleased without consequence. Such as the duty of an Administrator, after all. If either faction stepped out of line, they would be punished. If Servants banded together and tried to destroy him, he'd form his own Faction and flatten them.

"And who are you to command us?!" Celenike bridled.

Darnic hissed softly. "Idiot girl! Apologize!"

But it was already too late for her.

A benevolent blond brow rose.

_"Would You Kindly Take Back Those Words?"_

The Master of Black did not; on the contrary, she took the shovel he'd handed her and in her ignorance continued to dig her grave.

"Who are you to send a messenger and then come demanding our loyalty?! We outnumber you!" uncaring of Darnic's apoplectic expression, she continued to rant at him. Why should we listen to anything you say when we can just overwhelm you with numbers?!"

It was like flipping a switch.

"Because I could override all of your Command Spells." That gentle gaze turned cold as ice, eliciting a flinch from the overly arrogant woman. "Shall I make each of your Servants put on a dress dance the Remigold? Or kill themselves? Each other? You? The possibilities are endless. Would you care to test them with me?"

"That won't be necessary." Darnic put in frantically, once more trying to use his silver tongue to sway the situation. "My niece forgets herself."

"She certainly does." Naruto clicked his tongue. "So. Left or right?"

Celenike blinked. "What?"

"Left. Or. Right."

"Left_-gyah?!"_

Her words turned to a startled shriek as a knife cut across her face, viciously bisecting her left eye. It was a clean cut; sharp and precise and horribly painfully. A bloody vertical line carved itself across the length of her orb and bit deeply into her once-beautiful face. No longer beautiful now. She'd almost certainly lose the eye, if not a good chunk of her cheek to a scar besides. At first, the violet-haired magus didn't seem to realize what had just transpired. She simply stumbled, holding the ruins of that bifurcated orb as blood dribbled down the side of her face.

Then she _screamed._ "My face! My face! What have you done?!"

Naruto wasn't at all surprised when a Servant broke ranks and materialized to attack him; if anything he was amazed it took this long at all. He had half an instant to take in polished white-black armor, with hair to match; bright eyes burning at him like twin coals. The Grail supplied the Servant's true name for him even as his fingers flexed and the Sword of Nunoboko-the blade once wielded by the Sage of Six Paths-reappeared in his hand in a flourish of heavenly light Charlemagne never stood a chance. But he didn't swing at them; his intent was never to attack. He simply struck the sky instead.

And the heavens split.

The subsequent shockwave flattened all present, stalling Saber's assault and flinging him away like an ant in a hurricane.

Even as Charlemagne stumbled upright, a marked hand snapped towards him, causing every muscle in his body to clamp down as one.

"I am a forgiving man," Naruto raised his voice to be address the Masters over the sound of Celenike's pained whimpers and the paralyzed Saber's snarl, "I gave her the chance to apologize. She did not and insulted me further. I could have taken her both her eyes in recompense for such temerity, but I allowed her to keep one."

Rimmed violet eyes snapped toward Darnic.

"I trust we won't have this problem again, my lord?"

For a brief moment, the scion of the Yggdmillenia looked mutinous, but for once in his life he held his tongue.

"Very good." Naruto hummed, tapping his staff against the ground. "We will not meet again."

Wordlessly, he turned to depart.

Penth sidled up to him. "You're a cruel man, Ruler."

Her fellow Servant scoffed. "Perhaps, but I'm also a fair one."

"You lot will conduct this war proper." Ruler admonished each of the Masters. "Properly."

"And if we refuse?"

Those strange, rippling eyes regarded them with quiet intent.

...remember that I serve the Grail." his smile seemed sincere but Archer recognized the menace behind it all too well. "If you insist on dancing around the matter? I'll make a new faction and beat you into the ground. I'm quite certain you don't want that, and neither does the Grail." slim shoulders rose in a shallow shrug. "Really, I have no interest in fighting any of you. But if you force me, well! I'll just have to wipe you out."

His sword swung again, and the world reasserted itself.

**"So. Play. Nice."**

It was only when they'd garnered some distance between them that she found her voice again.

"You're mad."

"Am I, really?" he grinned back at her. "I think I'm quite sane."

She stared at him agog but his expression didn't waver.

"If I were insane," Naruto continued with the tone of a teacher who had explained this many times before, "I wouldn't be scared out of my wits right now."

"You were afraid?" she blinked.

"Of course I was." he clicked his tongue. "Command Spells are all well and good, but I only have so many. After that...I'm not confident in my ability to take down heroes equal or greater to myself. Certainly not when the lot of them attack at once."

"Oh. That makes sense," the young Berserker reasoned. "What now, then?"

He only smiled at her. "Now? Now we greet the Red Faction."

_Penthesilea granted him a beatific smile._

**A/N: Charlemagne as Saber of Black sounds pretty damn fitting.**

**And Celenike got maimed for being an uppity little brat. That was bound to happen.**

**Of course he wouldn't mesh well with Ruler!Naruto. That one lives for results; if the ends justify the means, then he deems that worth it. Whether that makes him good, evil, or just morally gray is a matte of opinion I suppose. ****Still laying some groundwork here, Apocrypha stories always have a lot of moving parts to work with.**

**And would you look at that. Waver got dragged into this mess somehow.**

**Ruler!Naruto is not someone you want to mess with.**

**As ever, this will be taken down in _two days_ if people don't like it. So by all means dear readers, do let me know what you think! ****This story's been quite a long time in coming-on the backburner for a while indeed-and it'll have some fan favorites...**

**Reviews are Love. Reviews are Life. Reviews keep me alive.**

**Lack of Reviews sends me right back into hibernation.**

**So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...revieeeew, would you kindly?**

**And enjoy these previews!**

**Death next chapter!**

**(Previews)**

_I...you...that's cheating!"_

_"Shi~no~bi~!"_

_"AAAARGH!"_

* * *

_"There you are."_

_At a glance, one could say Lancer was intimidating. __A bountiful beauty bound behind vicious dark-indigo armor, she almost resembled a dragon. Were it not for the cold yellow eyes regarding him within that helm, he might well have dismissed her as a beast. But that ugly lance in her hand was anything but._

_Ruler sighed. "Don't do it, Storm King. You'll die."_

_...my apologies." her dark lance rose. "But for the sake of the Black Faction, you must fall here today, Ruler."_

_Naruto didn't even deign to frown._

_A hand snapped up. "Back to your Master, missy. Now."_

_At that, Altered Lancer actually growled at him. "WHY YOU LITTLE-_

_And the air shimmered, words-and a Command Spell-doing what strength could not._

_Penthesilea guffawed in a rare loss of control, one hand flying to her mouth. "You did not just do that."_

_"And why not?" Ruler retorted. "There was no need to fight her. This way we can continued relatively unhindered...for now."_

* * *

_Penth barely glimpsed the attack._

_Then Ruler and Assassin collided in a blinding whirl of blows._

* * *

_"Ruler...why are you smiling?"_

_"No reason, I just found someone fun~!"_

* * *

_Achilles was silent for a long moment._

_Then he dropped his captive right at their feet._

_...they're all yours." and he walked away, leaving them to their fate._

_"You can't do this to me!" the bound Servant snarled. "You can't! You don't have the right!"_

_"Don't I?" Ruler talked over the Servant's screams and smacked them in the head with his staff when they tried to rise and strike out at him again. __"For failure to help your allies, for blatant disregard of the rules, for your hideous attempt to subvert and defile my allies and for being an all around horrible person, I command you. By the power invested in me by the Holy Grail..._

_The Command Spells on Ruler's body pulsed a vivid red._

_"Kill yourself, Servant."_

_And they did._

* * *

_Meeting the Red Faction was slightly different._

There was no grand base of operations; they simply met them in a graveyard.

_Penthesilea barely noticed any of them, only because she immediately...saw...him. Him. Him. HIM!_

_"ACHILLES!"_

* * *

_Saber turned her head and spat._

_"Enough, you fiend! I won't serve a Master like you!"_

**R&R! =D**


	3. A Most Unlikely Brawl

**A/N: EDIT: Reviews aren't showing up for ANYONE on the site since last night. They appear in our inboxes, but not on the site proper itself. Hopefully the site can fix this soon; until then, none of us can reply to them.**

**Yes, this is short, and I'm sorry for that.**

**Not my usual style, trying a more visceral style for this chapter.**

**Because, contrary to popular belief, I'm actively working on other stories~!**

**DOUBLE EDIT: Oh, lovely. Now the trolls/flamers are actively saying they want to murder me. I'm gonna report that shit. Also. ****How. ****The hell. ****Do I keep rolling! ****A Certain Very Angry Berserker! ****Seriously, Penthesilea! Stop spooking me! I'll update your story, alright! No more spooks! ****In other news, I've been gearing up update everything. Aye. Everything. Die Another Day, A Most Unlikely Berserker, A Boy's Journey, those three are set to be updated soon as well.**

**Imperfection...is a bit of a hot mess that I honestly need to rewrite.**

***grins***

**WARNING!**

**Are you prepared shenanigans?**

**Are you prepared to suspend your disbelief?**

**Wait, what? You actually are? You expect them at this point? Well, alright then. Off we go!**

_"I am not a good person. Nor am I a bad person. I simply am. Learn from my lesson, Berserker._

_Its too late for me to change. But you? There's a chance. __Be better than me."_

_~Ruler._

**A Most Unlikely Brawl**

_Release was at hand._

Penthesilea knew it in her heart of hearts; with every step that carried her toward the still-distant church. They hadn't even reached the town proper yet and already her blood had begun to sing. The cool night air was a boon against her super-heated skin, lending a swagger to her every step. She didn't even deign to conceal her anticipation as she trailed after Ruler. Her gauntlets ached for action. She longed to materialize her flail and bring it crashing down upon the cathedral's spire, to hear him scream as she tore flesh from bone!

Because he was here.

Berserker could sense him -as he could no doubt sense her!- among the Servants lurking in the building ahead. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. For better or worse his Master hadn't let the coward flee. Good. There would be no escape for him. Not this time. If it weren't for the Command Spells binding her, she would've bolted already. Even now she felt them snapping and fraying around her body. She knew they would break the moment she saw him. Nothing could stop her. She would not be denied.

Weapons bared, body clad in her signature, armor, Penthesilea stormed toward her destiny.

"Achilles." the word escaped her in a low growl, steam wafting between her teeth. "I'll kill him. Kill, kill...**KILL...!"**

"Remember," Naruto's voice briefly plucked her from the maddened sea of her insanity, "You have to fight smart tonight. Or you'll die."

She ignored him, all thoughts of strategy forgotten as they pushed through another abandoned alley. What need had she of strategy? Her fury would be more than-

Tan fingers flicked her forehead with explosive force, bringing the tiny Berserker up short before the madness could subsume her fully once again. There was a joke to be had there somewhere, but she wasn't in the mood to have at it this time. It didn't so much sting as it did startle her and she found herself forced to bring brought both hands around when her minder tried again.

She glowered up at him and massaged the mark he'd left there. "What was that for?"

"For not listening." Whiskered cheeks pinched in a scowl as he sauntered past her. "Don't act like a mad dog, Penth. That's not you."

She grit her teeth and stormed after him. "Then you don't know me very well. What he did to me. What I lost...!

"Wrong again, your majesty."

Try as she might, Berserker didn't understand why Ruler insisted on treating her like this. Or approaching their destination in anything less than astral form. Why do this? Why drag things out? Why take in the scenery? It was night. There was no scenery, nor were there any people about. What need have she of the full moon or any such frippery? It only served to further heighten her anticipation. Meeting the Red Faction was going to be a torrid affair at worse, an outright disaster at best, but she didn't care. So long as she had her revenge. The lie tasted like ashes in her mouth.

What good was strength if it didn't prevail?

She wanted to believe she was strong; that she could slay HIM through strength of arms and nothing more. And yet Naruto's words clung to her like vines, tripping her up. He'd said himself that he didn't relish the idea of facing someone like Achilles in a fair fight. Just the thought made her blood boil and she had to forcibly tamp down on her rage. What hope did she have as she was now? She loathed the idea of asking, and yet...

"I've thought on what you said yesterday," her own admission startled her. "Tonight...if I fail...if I survive...I'll need to be stronger."

Naruto looked down at her as they walked. "And?"

Berserker squirmed. "I need my true body."

His jaw clicked open. "Well. I expected...things...but not that."

"Can you do it or not, Ruler?!" she balled her fists at her sides, cheeks turning pink.

"Sure, I guess." he shrugged. "I mean, the Grail lets me make alterations to those who are willing, but are you sure about this? You probably wouldn't be a Berserker anymore."

"If tonight fails, then-_HEY!" _Naruto flicked her forehead again and she yelped, drawn from her destructive thoughts once more. "I...you...that's cheating! I was unprepared!"

Flickering blue eyes rimmed with violet twinkle back at her. "Shi~no~bi~! Or have you forgotten. That's what you get for doubting yourself!"

Incredulous, she gaped up at him.

And then:

_"AAAARGH!"_

She flailed at him like an angry kitten, to no avail. Because the blond bastard -the absolute scoundrel!- simply held her back with an outstretched hand against her forehead. Short as she was, Penth knew she couldn't hope reach him; not without actively utilizing her weapons. Blast this body. She loathed limiting herself like this sometimes. Ruler wouldn't be so cavalier with her if she were in her true form! But that didn't matter. She would endure as she always had. So long as she killed HIM any indignity she suffered was more than worth it...if he just kept his mouth shut.

"Don't be sad, short-stack." pearly white teeth gleamed at her. "We all have our...shortcomings."

_By Olympus, those puns were too painful to ignore!_

"Ruler."

Naruto tilted his head. "Hmm?"

Baleful red eyes bored into his. "I am going to count to three. If your hand is still upon me by then...the hand comes off."

"Think you can reach me?" his lips quirked.

In hindsight, the Berserker knew Ruler was acting the fool; doing this on purpose; he was trying to distract her from her own destructive impulses and darker thoughts. _Penthesilea knew this._ He'd never tease her like this unless he had a good reason for it. Fine. He wanted to be the focus of her ire, did he? She'd play his game. For now. Until she found **him.**

The queen lowered her head. "One."

Naruto frowned. "What's wrong? Short fuse?"

"Two."

His smile grew. "Bit of a short timer there, eh?" his elbow poked her ribs. "Eh? Eh?"

Her head snapped up.

_**"Three!"**_

She wasn't at all prepared for that arm to fall away abruptly and sweep her behind its owner.

"Halt, fiend!" a new voice cried.

This close to the church, the _last_ thing the amazoness had expected was to be challenged by another Servant, but challenged they were.

At a glance, one could say Lancer- for with a weapon like that the newcomer couldn't be anything else- was intimidating to a fault. They almost resembled a dragon standing astride their great warhorse. Were it not for the cold yellow eyes regarding them within that helm, Penthesilea might well have dismissed them as a mere beast astride another. But that ugly lance looming in their hand was anything but beastly. Just the sight of it made something in her soul shudder.

Said Servant thrust it at them as her steed cantered to a halt some yards away.

Ruler -Naruto, she reminded herself- barely batted an eyelash.

"You must be Lancer of Black." he sketched a humble bow. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

Penthesilea nearly burst into flames on the spot. He wasn't doing this. She wasn't doing this. They were _not _doing this. Who was this warrior to interrupt them?! A Servant seeking an alliance? Some stray perhaps? She did not know, nor did she care. She simply wanted them gone from her sight. If they wouldn't begone, she'd put them in the ground.

"I have come to cut you down and put an end to this farce."

_She got her wish._

Penthesilea and Naruto exchanged a bemused look, for once in complete agreement on something. At a wordless glance, the unlikely pair parted. Ruler sauntered to the left, Berserker stalked right. Their paths ran parallel to one another, slow strides carrying them with

"Well, you're honest at least." Ruler blew out a bemused breath and summoned a staff to his right hand. "Don't do this, Storm King. You'll die."

Storm King? The title sounded almost familiar, but she couldn't place it. Bah. Probably not important. She wanted violence. Now.

...my apologies." that dark lance rose. "But for the sake of the Black Faction, you must fall here today, Ruler."

"Ho?" Penthesilea paused and cocked her hips with a scowl. "You're ignoring me? Bold of you."

That helmet inclined a fraction of an inch. "I have no interest in a child."

And _she_ needed no further provocation to summon her flail; the comforting weight of the spiked ball and chain smacked into Penthesilea's grasp like an old friend. One she began to swing in slow, lazy circles over her shoulder, uncaring for the way her soon-to-be-victim startled at the sight. And if the Queen of the Amazons brandished it with a smile...well. Anyone watching was a liar. It wasn't as if she enjoyed this. No. She took absolutely no pleasure in the thought of beating this uppity creature to death. She'd let Ruler have his words, but by the gods she _would _stove Lancer's head in if they took another step forward.

"Is that your Master's command, or your own?" Naruto challenged, raising his own weapon in a familiar stance Penthesilea recognized all too well.

"Mine." those golden orbs narrowed within the slit. "You are a threat that must be eradicated. Nothing more."

"And this has nothing to do with Celenike being your master." the whiskered warrior arched an eyebrow. "Nothing at all?"

Lancer flinched. "How did you-

"Ruler, remember?" a rimmed eye regarded her as the circle grew smaller. "I know full well who you are; and how to break that precious armor of yours. What _is _it with Lancers and making foolish decision? Is that a class thing? No?" He tilted his head. "Must be an honor thing. Never much understood the concept myself. Honor doesn't win battles, and it certainly doesn't win wars."

"Must be her Master's...tendencies or somesuch." Penthesilea narrowly caught herself and corrected for the slip when the armored knight glowered at her.

Too close. She'd nearly said _that_ word.

"She is a beautiful woman, I will admit that." Lancer scoffed, heedless of what she'd just said. "But that has no bearing on my actions here tonight. You have no place here against me, Berserker." once more that black slit turned to regard her. "This is not your fight. My quarrel lies with Ruler, not you."

The rest of her words droned off into static.

_Beautiful._

Penthesilea went horribly still all at once. Her flail crashed to the ground at her feet like so much dead weight. Slim shoulders slumped. Pale eyes turned a baleful red as a low, shuddering snarl fled from her lips. Distantly, she became aware of Ruler's rapidly retreating presence behind her, but only just. How dare she. How dare she. How dare dare daredare**DARE!**

"Well, would you look at that." Naruto groaned. "You just pushed the "B" button. Nice knowing you."

Lancer's helmeted head shifted. "I'm sorry, the wha-gack?!"

_**"YOU SHOULDNT'A DONE THAT."**_

Penthesilea let her flail fly with meteoric speed and smashed the startled Servant dead in their helmeted head. Caught flatfooted by the sudden assault as much as the ferocity behind it, the impact ripped Lancer from their steed and sent them tumbling across the street, their body dragging a deep furrow in the earth.

Horses were good for charges and mowing down cavalry. They also made excellent targets. Bereft of its rider, the servant's mount all but whinnied in distress and turned to support its master. It never made it. Penthesilea tore through it in a blazing blur and barreled after the tumbling Servant with a wordless scream.

For his part, Naruto tapped his staff against the street and resigned himself to try and prevent the massacre that followed. Didn't mean he was above a bit of humiliation, however.

Lancer had only just begun to rise when Berserker pounced upon them, took hold of their head and rammed it to the cobblestones once more. Once. Twice. Thrice. On the fourth the armored servant finally managed to get their weapon up between them and defend themselves with it; a weapon whose tip the unholy little terror somehow caught with her teeth. _Her teeth!_ Who did that?! This one, apparently! In the knight's brief moment of shock a pair of clawed gauntlets latched onto the lance's haft and ripped it out of their grasp.

Those very same gauntlets descended mercilessly on their armor.

"ACHILLES! Die! Die! Die!"

"I'm telling you, that isn't...oh, what the hell." Naruto settled in to wait as the beatdown continued. "She isn't listening."

Slamming and spitting, hacking and slashing, Penthesilea attacked with a singular fury that belied her size; an assault that brooked no counterattack. Fearless ferocity and insanity lent her strength she might not otherwise have had and she used it to absolutely eviscerate the Servant beneath her. Oh. That looked rather painful. She wasn't letting up. At this rate, Lancer's armor wasn't going to hold-

Naruto winced as he heard a loud crack.

A sonorous clang echoed through the empty street as still more of the servant's armor and helmet shattered beneath Berserker's blistering blows; revealed was a bountiful beauty bound behind vicious dark-indigo armor, golden-flecked eyes wide with anger and shame. T'was was a woman! Of course, he'd already known that, thanks to the Grail. Penthesilea did not. Surprise slowed the small Berserker, he could see it in the twitch of her shoulders, the way she hesitated. Just a fraction. A hair.

It was enough for Lancer to lift her legs and_ kick._

"GET! OFF!"

At such close proximity, Penth barely glimpsed the attack; but Naruto saw everything that followed. Twin boots cannoned into her chest and launched her backward into Ruler; she would've bounded right off him too, if he hadn't grabbed her by the hair. Even then she railed against his grip, flinging about in his grasp.

"Don't stop me!" she raged furiously, thrashing at him. "I'll kill her!

"I think her pride died a long time ago...

"You fiends!" Lancer staggered upright as clutched at herself, struggling to preserve some semblance of her modesty. "Have you no shame?! Have you no honor?! Look what you did!"

"No. None."Naruto didn't even deign to frown as he raised his right hand. "Back to your Master, missy. Now. Pull something like this again and we'll kill you."

At that, the Altered Lancer actually growled at him. "Uncouth craven! Don't you DARE use one of those on me...!"

All the air around the angry woman shimmered, words-and a Command Spell-doing what strength could not. Lancer of Black didn't fade. She simply vanished as Ruler exerted his command upon her. One moment she had retrieved her lance, drawn it back to strike. In the next, she turned to golden dust and shot back over the horizon.

Penthesilea guffawed in a rare loss of control at the sight, one hand flying to her mouth. "You did not just do that. That was my kill!"

Naruto flashed her a cheeky grin as one of the many markings wrapped around his arm began to fade. It seemed frivolous to waste such a thing. She wanted to kiss him for it. If he hadn't banished Lancer of Black back to her Master just now, she would have fought them further. That would have spooked the masters, and by definition, Achilles.

"No, it wasn't." he retorted. "There was no need to fight her. This way we can continued relatively unhindered...for now."

"Um...about that." a strangely familiar voice offered from the direction of the church. "Maybe you two should leave."

A faint scuffing sound behind her claimed her attention. Without thinking she rounded on the sound at once.

To his credit, Naruto didn't try to stop Penthesilea. He knew better than that. They had come to an accord and in a surprising show of maturity, he honored that agreement here and now. His hand released her shoulder as she completed her revolution, dreading -knowing!- what she would find there. That face. That hair. That cocksure smile, now narrowed in recognition and disbelief. His mouth opened and words emerged, but she could not hear them, could not decipher that which followed, because she...saw...him. Him. Him. **HIM!**

"Ah." Somehow, she heard Ruler speak. "Rider of Red. Good to meet you. I'd advise running. Now."

"Wait, why would I run...oh." Comprehension dawned on that handsome face. "Crap."

Also to his credit, Achilles rapidly realized just how badly he'd bungled.

Perhaps he'd failed to recognized her; after all, she'd willfully materialized in a younger form rather than her prime. Perhaps he was so arrogant as to believe he'd done her no wrong. Perhaps he simply failed to realize just how badly he'd bungled. Regardless, he shouldn't have revealed himself and clearly regretted his decision to do so now. In a silent shimmer of light, he summed his spear to his side. She answered with her flail, white knuckled fingers wrapping around the warped metal.

His foot shifted a fraction of an inch, hardly at all.

Penthesilea flew at him with a howl.

_"ACHILLES!"_

**A/N: Not my usual style, trying a more visceral style here.**

** Angry!Penthesilea is just too fun to write, she kinda stole the show.**

**Aaaand now cometh the brawl I've been holding myself back from. Fitting that we're getting Achilles over here soon.**

**Was it wrong that I spent this chapter spoiling her? Most likely. But given the...events that she faces, I thought she deserved it. I'm going around updating all of my stuff, so expect to hear from me again in the next few days.**

**Reviews are Love. Reviews are Life. Reviews keep me alive.**

**Lack of Reviews sends me right back into hibernation.**

**So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...**

**...revieeeew, would you kindly?**

**And enjoy these previews!**

**Death next chapter!**

**(Previews)**

_"ROMA!"_

_"Ruler...why are you smiling?"_

_"No reason, I just found someone fun~!"_

* * *

_Naruto clicked his tongue in mild annoyance. He didn't like this. Not a bit. Not at all._

_"Fine." he groused. "I'll do it myself."_

_If the Red and Black factions refused to attack each other...well. They just needed a good poke, didn't they? __Perhaps another faction would spur them into action._

* * *

_"Ha?" Caenis tilted her head. "Lancer of Gold?" a wild smile flashed across her tan visage. "Heh! I like it! Let's kill 'em all, Master!"_

* * *

_"A~dor~able~!" __Berserker flew at him with a shriek as he spoke, only to find herself swept into a crushing hug. __"You know, that never gets old..._

**R&R! =D**


End file.
